Yesterday was a day off for me. No florist work and no art studio. Life was calling and it happened to be mish mash of London mom life and a mid week day off. But it was a bit more special.
Our entire family trekked to Stratford to get UK citizenship details uploaded into the system. We’ve been here for almost 10 years and I would like our teen to have options for life as they get older. Us too. Thank goodness my husband Dave likes details. The bureaucratic officials (very nice I have to say) start asking for forms and signatures and God knows what else. My mind feels like it’s scrambling and I’m ready to leave already. Oh yeah - they also want additional fees to scan our forms. Easy come money, easy go. That’s what I muttered as I paid the equivalent of $200 for the admin fee. Funny how I calculate how much time that would be on the flower stand for that money. I can’t help it.
After our no nonsense appointment, we wandered to the old Stratford mall in east London. This is the lower end mall compared to the swanky Westfield Mall just across the walkway. I loved it. Fruit and veg vendors inside, cheap luggage, and a Poundland. I asked my husband and daughter if they needed anything at the UK equivalent of a dollar store. I can’t resist, they’re not as enthused. Naaaah, they said. Famous last words. So I dragged them in. By the time we left, they were piling into the basket dog toys and treats and hand soap and heating pads and cheap peanut brittle and Diet 7-up at less than half the price I pay when I pop into a local Sainsburys market. I love a good bargain. The new dog, Dolly appreciated the squeaky rubber chicken that we named “Fernando.” Poor guy, he didn’t stand a chance with the big underbite and playful nature of our rescue gal. She was so happy. He was headless and lost his squeak within 15 minutes. It was only a pound and very well worth it.
Lunch was a food court that had local ethnic restaurants of all kinds. I’m talking sushi, Thai food, katsu curries, and more. So yummy and way more fun than the chain food offerings across at the swankier mall. Cheap sushi and Katsu curry never disappoint.
We came home for a power nap, then I dragged my 14 year old to see Tracey Emin at the Tate. This was one of the last days for us to see it as we are back in the states and seeing family soon. I was temped to skip the whole thing and keep napping. To push snooze on the alarm, but had only heard good things about the show and didn’t want to miss it. No coulda shoulda woulda.
For the record, Tracey Emin isn’t my favourite. I prefer colorful Matisse and Helen Frankenthal. Lee Krasner, and Helma af Klint. Heavy subjects don’t interest me. But like Tracey Emin’s art itself, I was drawn to see the show. So in we went. We felt like VIP’s when we skipped the line to go in. I’m a member of the Tate and it was a nice perk.
At the show, there was a lot to read. Hand written pages of diaries and plenty of musings but a lot of angst. It was so cool to see how she channels that energy into her paintings. There were hand stitched quilts that I really loved, incorporating fabric and writings and letters that formed powerful words and sayings. It was really great. Some work I couldn’t look at. Anything that involves medical procedures, too much blood, or unwanted sexual encounters is hard for me to view. I totally appreciate and respect what she shares, but my nervous system can’t handle it. I literally looked down and put my hand next to my face to shield from view a series of polaroids in a corridor that had graphic images of her body.
I started to think that bringing my 14 year old probably wasn’t the best idea, but Sunny was sitting in a larger room and had their sketchbook out.
I told my teen that maybe this was too much to see. Their response was exactly how I felt - I didn’t want to stay and keep looking at the art, but I didn’t want to go either. Profound for a 14 year old, I thought. Proud momma moment when I couldn’t express how I felt. I kept thinking of the phrase. Mixed emotions would definitely be it. I loved seeing the process and the channeling of hand writing and the physicality of the art. I loved seeing how a painting that wasn’t working would be covered over in white paint and the original image would come through. And the interconnection of writing and art really struck me. Us artists need to be fed and inspired. This was what I needed.
Later, the solar eclipse was slated to peak around 7:16 pm. So we went out to the river, People were lined up across the Thames river in Wapping and Canary Wharf to see the partial eclipse. It was a total happening! We initially started in our back yard, then moved to the river path in Rotherhithe. Without solstice glasses, it was tricky to see the eclipse itself. But then the light started shifting. The sky turned greyer and the energy shifted. We kept walking and I happened upon these dancing crescent moon shaped shadows on the river path. Pure magic.
Today was another day off and I wanted to keep the goodness going. A swim at the London Fields Lido was in order. I laugh as one guy was clearly faster than all of us and was practically mowing down the others in the fast lane. Every time he came by, I made sure to get out of his way. When the butterfly stroke started happening, I really started to think that he was an Olympian and we were in the kiddy pool, most definitely in his way. Mark Spitz in the flesh.
I brought this silly sentiment and others back to the art studio today, thinking about Tracey Emin’s way of working.
So I started to treat my canvases like my journals - writing down things that resonated from the past 24 hours. It was kindof fun.
I’m not sure what will stay, what will be covered over as I continue on these. The large scale canvases have been intimidating for me to work on. I feel out of my league and a bit like an imposter. I stayed in my regular non paint clothes when I showed up today. Then I changed into some denim shorts and dirty Vans sneakers… a mental message to myself that I was willing to get messy.
I often get in my own way. Who am I to want to create and show and hopefully sell these large pieces to collectors? I’ve struggled with this large scale canvas format for several years. But maybe, I think today was a bit of a breakthrough. Not Tate level solo show type of work, but inching towards feeling comfortable in this work. More lap swimming and more visits to art shows will be in order. Many more. I’ll keep on moving forward. One lap, one paint stroke, one random saying at a time.
Just a reminder that my summer studio sale is going on. If you’re compelled, I appreciate you sharing this work with a creative friend or collector.
XO, M.E.
